Life Coach

While discussing typical day to day life issues with my friend who lives in US, i was suggested to hire an Coach for my self,for help me navigating the career and relationship.Same is very popular in western countries, where to get ahead in life and to have a peaceful life people do engage Life Coach or Professional coach by paying 10's of thousands of dollars.

In last decade Personally as well through organisation where i worked i have attended some seminars of motivational speakers or self development gurus who are pontificating their belief system in class rooms. Typically after closing lecture / presentation a young lady comes to the stage and begins speaking on her take of the world and how we can all achieve success.

Typically, she will introdue as a 'Life coach" or " professional Coach"..will highlight importance of teacher, coach, in acheving desired success personally and professionally. Immediately my mind yells, "What the hell is that? Life coach?" I silence my internal mechanism and continue to listen. She goes on for about 30 minutes spewing all the basic motivational blah blah.

I believe the art of motivation and the psychological benefits derived from feeling good about oneself are important. In a world bent on spitting out negativity through every media orifice, good thoughts and words are inspiration are a welcome antidote of modern day cynicism, competition, rat race.

What I can't stand or condone are fuzzy stories that have more to do with fantasy than reality. Again, don't get me wrong, I like a good story like everyone else. Our history and traditions were built on stories being told while catching up sleep with parents, since the dawn of civilization.

Back to the speaker... In those 30 minutes, at one course of an accomplished speaker.. I found out that speaker didn't have an good college degree..just some bachelors or masters from unknown university, she had failed marriage, flogging career in sales till few years earlier and she now feels her destiny is to help other people by sharing what she went through.

"What?"

So, what qualifies her to be a life coach? Well, the fact that she never finished education or she's been through disturbed marital life or family life... That makes as much sense as a divorcee giving you tips on how to have a happy marriage.

But here's the killer part; she was dead serious about helping people in the audience (who signed up for her Rs 20000 per year coaching program) get their life on track. There's the rub. Now let me be a considerate to her traumatic experience in life and in profession and assume that given her past experiences she can offer some valuable information or insight on life.

But question remain un answered can anyone really be your LIFE coach? What are the qualifications to be a LIFE coach? Does this mean this coach will be with me for life, until I die?

The absurdity of the label, "Life Coach" is obvious. If you believe in a higher power (i.e., God), then you might have a reason to want Him (or Her) as your life coach. But God doesn't charge you by the hour! He would most likely refer you to the "Good Book"; all the answers you need for success and prosperity are there for the picking.

I'm convinced that anyone who calls themselves a life coach has to be either delusional or has no concept of what the phrase implies. On the subject of self development and helping others, my beliefs are
You can't insure success, you can only guide people.

To guide them you have know their thought process, their life style, their motivations, their aspirations which are beyond words.

Before giving them first piece of advise, guide need to understand them, beyond what is communicated in words ..need to live with them ( metaphorically) day in and day out, know there various interactions in life, at their work place,with sprituality, with spouse, with kids, with neighbours, with friends

Is it humanly possible...?

I don't think so..It is impossible for anyone to become our Life Coach.

Just because someone has suffered or has gone through some hard times DOES NOT qualify them to give you advice. It only qualifies them to tell you how stupid they were and what lessons they've learned. I don't think any one should have to pay for this.

What is the exception? If a person has real world experience and can help you shortcut your path to success by providing tangible steps and information, along with How TO IMPLEMENT..

I still wouldn't call that person a life coach.

I would either call them a friend or a mentor...who shares your daily, day to day life, who knows you for pretty long period in life ( atleast 5 years), who has seen you in different phases of life, your challenges, happy and sad moments.

Merry Christmas

Wishing a Merry Christmas and Joyous Holiday season,

and also writing lyrics of my all time favourite song from Movie "Daddy"

''आइना मुझ से मेरी पहली सी सूरत मांगे

मेरे अपने मेरे होने की निशानी माँगे

में भटकता रहा दर्द के वीराने में

वक्त लिखता रहा चेहरे पर हर पल का हिसाब

मेरी शोहरत मेरी दीवानगी की नज़र हुई

पी गई माय की बोतल मेरे गीतों की किताब

आज लौटा हु तोह हसने की अदा भूल गया

यह शहर भुला मुझे, में भी उसे भूल गया

मेरे अपने मेरे होने की निशानी माँगे

आइना मुझ से मेरी पहली सी सूरत माँगे

मेरा फअन मुझे फ़िर बाज़ार में ले आया है

यह वोह जगह है जहाँ मेरो वफ़ा बिकते है

बाप बिकते हैं और लखते जिगर बिकते है

कोख बिकती है दिल बिकते हैं सर बिकते हैं

इस बदलती हुई दुनिया का खुदा कोई नहीं

सास्ते दामो पे यहाँ रोज़ खुदा बिकते हें

मेरे अपने मेरे अपने होने की निशानी माँगे

आइना मुझ से मेरी पहली से सूरत माँगे

हरी खरीदार को बाज़ार में बिकता पाया

हम क्या पायेंगे किसी ने यहाँ क्या पाया

मेरे एहसास मेरे फूल कहीं और चले

बोल पूजा मेरी बची कहीं और चले

और चले , और चले......."

हिम्मत करने वालो की कभी हार नही होती

After spending 5 days, and 4 Nights at Indore (janambhumi), have reached back Mumbai (karambhumi) early morning today....fift visit in last 12 months , probably highest ever since i left Indore in 1995, in terms of going and comming back, may not be interm of days spend their.

This time i went alone without sneha and kids as they are having third term exams starting shortly...for attending engagment and wedding ceremony of my niece " Lovee"। Apart from attending functions. I have leisurely spent endless hours visiting home, shop, and offices of relatives, friends, and old buddies.

This time there was a strong urge to connect with the past, connect with the roots, be among the people whom i can relate with, and those who care for me and love me. .. and get over the trauma of living in Mumbai, in isolation & fear which recently witnessed worst ever terrorist attacks, which probably all of us have seen live endlessly for over 60 hours on television channels.

Selflessness, defeat, restlessness, agitation, disbelief, denial, tiredness, negativity, indecisivenss have taken over me in recent past, some time it is news of stock market crash, job losses, terror attacks, bomb explosions, ...it is Fear Every Where.... fear of loss of near and dear ones, fear of death, fear of future, fear of uncertainity..

Disgusting...it was

With such wandering thoughts, while sitting in Manish's office ( Umang Engineering), saw a poem on pin up board, which i read many a times, this some how helped me momentarily in regaining my emotional stability. Again it was Poem of Harivansh Rai Bachchan..( Google download pasted below)

लहरों से डरकर नौका पार नहीं होती ,

मेहनत करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

नन्ही चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,

चढ़ती दीवारों पर सौ बार फिसलती है,

मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,

चढ़कर गिरना,गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है,

आखिर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती ,

कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

डुबकियाँ सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,

जा-जाकर खाली हाथ लौट आता है,

मिलते न सहेज के मोती पानी में,

बहता दूना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में,

मुठ्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,

हिम्मत करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

असफलता एक चुनौती है स्वीकार करो,

क्या कमी रह गयी,देखो और सुधार करो,

जब तक न सफल हो नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,

संघर्षों का मैदान छोड़ मत भागो तुम,

कुछ किये बिना ही जय-जयकार नहीं होती,

हिम्मत करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

मेहनत करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।

God bless, Ravi