bahut dino ke baad

रात की दस्तक दरवाज़े पर है
आज का दिन भी बीत गया है
कितना था उजाला फिर भी फिर से
अन्धियारा ही जीत गया है
एकान्त की चादर ओढ़ कर फिर से
मैं खुद में खोया जाता हूँ
आँखों के सामने यादों के रथ पर
मेरा ही अतीत गया है

सन्नाटों के गुन्जन में दबकर
अपनी ही आवाज़ नहीं आती मुझको
आँखों की सरहद पर लड़ता
आँसू भी अब जीत गया है

टूटे दर्पण के सामने बैठकर
मैं स्वयं को खोज रहा हूँ
यूँ ही बैठे बैठे जाने
कितना अरसा बीत गया है ... ॥

The Elephant in the Room

It’s been called many things by many people: "The Elephant in the Room", "Blind Spots", to name but a few but essentially we are talking about people being free to voice their concerns within and about organizations of which they are members. Without worrying about its political correctness, or managing equation within the network of influence.

There’s even a cautionary tale about the Emperor’s New Clothes that are told to children but I think the point has been lost and it’s hurting businesses, organizations, and individuals.

Instead of people contributing their experience and commonsense in a collaborative way, there is now a culture of smiling sweetly, being "agreeable", not "rocking the boat" and "being a team player", "scratching each others back " that is disabling organizations across the industries and geographies; making them less competitive, flabby and complacent.

After all, if you’re in charge and everyone keeps telling you things are going great why would you spend time pondering your strategy or plans?

Great leaders develop a network of trusted advisors over time to compensate for their blind spots and fill in skill gaps – helping them to do the right thing right – and do it quickly.

To know and not to do is the same as not knowing. The modern equivalent of this is having a problem brought to your attention and then spending a year or longer doing studies, making strategy, raising a budget, playing to the gallery, restructuring team, reviewing planing but not acting on ground zero – or fiddling while Rome burns (there’s another tale).

Whether the crisis is a rising tide or a sudden shock event, we need to develop an organizational structure and systems that can quickly establish facts, consider options, decide what to do, then delegate and GET ON WITH IT.

But if you shoot people down for bringing issues to your attention? The first thing you know will be the last thing you know.

What organizations or society need today is people who not only believe but practice Candor, which many still consider as bluntness or nonprofessionalism.

Getting back Life.

To forgive someone doesn’t mean condoning their actions। It just means absolving yourself of the hurt and pain and getting back control over your own life and emotions . It means easing the burden of revenge and hatred from your shoulders and getting on with life.

WHEN you are smarting from pain inflicted by someone, and trying to figure out ‘why’, the most difficult thing to do is the thing they call Divine — to forgive. And yet, try it out. It’s in fact the sweetest form of revenge!

You don’t forgive for another; you do it for yourself — to come to terms with your emotions and to attempt a closure on an episode that refuses to let go of you. If you don’t do that, years later you would still be smarting from an action, stuck in a painful time zone, while the perpetrator of all that pain has moved on and put the incident behind him.

So, rather than him, you are the one living out the consequences of his action! Forgiving someone is the best way of stepping neatly out of that time zone and ensuring that they, rather than you, suffer the fall-out of the episode.

Regards, Ravi

Journey of a lost Traveler

From where I started to where I am today,

The journey has been long & tiring.

From nothing to something I am today

It’s not been an easy journey.



My tryst with luck, hard work, and destiny

So futile yet demanding and arduous.

It’s not been an easy journey.

For a while I got my love, friends, and relations too

I lost them too …I feel no one was true.



My life beckoning me to start all over again

With whom I could start the journey again

I know no one will come

While I will miss everyone,

Now, I want to move on without anyone

Even without my love, & friends.



As life moves on; I move on with it

To a journey that never concludes

Walking alone on this path with guts and determination

I want to continue the journey again

A journey where you may remember me

As the man who touched your heart…someway

Silent Moments

Some things in life never change
Sometimes in life, you don’t find reasons
Some moments in life aren’t forgotten
Sometimes you lose hope…
When the time rolls by you to forget
What holds you on…?
Some people in life are a part of you.
And when you let them go,
You never lose them
Because… you find them living in you.

Childhood Prayers

Suddenly remembered a song which my primarty school class teacher used to play on the gramophone

Should have understood the meaning and the importance of this prayer at least 40 years back

Here it is ... from Movie "Guddi" , was originally sung by Vani Jairam

हम को मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करे
दूसरो की जय से पहले ख़ुद को जय करे
भेद भावः अपने दिल से साफ़ कर सके
दोस्तों से भूल हो तो माफ़ कर सके.

झुठ से बचे रहे , सच का दम भरे
दूसरो की जय से पहले ख़ुद को जय करे
मुश्किल पड़े तों हम पे इतना करम कर
साथ दे तों धरम का , चले तो धरम पर
ख़ुद पे हौसला रखे , बदी से ना डरे
दुसरो की जय से पहले ख़ुद को जय करे.

Maa

I'm sitting here, I'm thinking back to a time when I was young,

My memory is clear as day, I'm listening to the dishes clink,

You were in kitchen; you would sing songs of praise.

And all the times we laughed togehter ,

And all the times that you stayed true to me,

Now I say, I thank you Maa

I'll always thank you,More than you could know

Than I could ever show,And I love you

I'll always love you Maa

There's nothing I won't do to say these words to you,

You were my mom, You were my dad

The only thing I ever had was you, It's true

And even when the times got hard you were there,

To let us know that we'd get through, you showed me how to be a man,

You taught me how to understand the things people do

You showed me how to love and Trust the God

You taught me that not everyone knows the truth, And I thank you Maa

I'll always thank you,More than you could know,

There's nothing I won't do to say these words to you,

That you will live forever in my heart

Bitter Truth..

"What we do during our working hours determines what we have;

What we do in our leisure hours determines what we are."

..George Eastman

Off the Beaten Track

Off the Beaten Track....!!

You've changed my whole life around
You've picked me up from where I fell down
You've made me strong when I was weak
All our promises, I pomise to keep

You've taught the truth behind my lies
You've been the tears behind my cries
You've been the trust that keeps me on
You've been the shelter during storm

You've been my aid to learning what's new
You've been my experience from what I've been through
You've shown me emotions I never thought I'd feel
For all this, I know my feelings are real

My one wish, that I pray stays true .. I hope, i am forever with you.

Ravi

Idling in life

Good one from Robin Sharma again, very apt for people like me who are not delivering using their full potential, here it goes

"Sure it's important to renew. Regeneration and genuine re-creation set you up for your next level of peak performance. But I suggest it's so very important to distinguish between real renewal and idle escape. Pure wastes of time just aren't good for the soul.

When I was in New York City recently, I noted that someone caught sitting with their car idling could be fined $2000 USD. Maybe we should impose a similar sanction on ourselves when we catch ourselves doing nothing. But wasting life.

You are here to play big with your life. To radically break through your previous best and to innovate your way to excellence in your work. So that when you're done, you'll know you did your life well. You can't idle and get to great. Make a choice." 

Mother

What makes all Mother’s special ?

 

ANSWER :

When I came home drenched in the rain my brother said –

“Why don’t you take an umbrella with you !”

My sister said –

“Why didn’t you wait till the rain stopped !”

My father angrily said –

“You will only learn after getting a cold !”

But my mother while drying my hair said –

“Stupid rain !”

What should i do with my life ?

Stolen Life

I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.

I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.

You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone,
I questionJust where I belong.

I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize,
investigateMy life I will confess.

For somewhere deeper,
there must beSome meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.

Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?

It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.

I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.

It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.

Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?

Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end,
will I find truth ...Or will I be perplexed?

Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?

Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.

A Crisis of Faith

मेरे बाबु जी

याद है कितने वर्ष हो बाबूजी तुम्हे मुझे छोडे हुए ?
मेरा अकेलापन हमेशॉ तुम्हारे साथ गुजरता है.
मैंने घर में हर तरफ़ तुम्हारी तस्वीरे लगा रखी है ताकि
मै तुम्हारे दिए आदर्शो को याद रखु , उन पर सदा चल पाऊ

क्या कुछ पूंछु आज इतने वर्षो के बाद तुमसे ?
क्यो दिए थे यह आदर्श मुझे जीवन में
जहा दुसरो का भला सोचने वाले को
छल रहित जीवन को , सीधी रीड के लोगो को
अयोग्य समझा जाता है ?
जय पराजय के संग्राम में ..
क्षमा को कमजोरी समझा जाता है
ना नही कहना ...,
किसी का दिल नही दुखाना
सच होगा तुम्हारे समय में.....
आज यह आदर्श बोजिल हो गए है


जानते हो, तुमने जिनके लिए अपना सर्वस्व दिया था
वोह तुम्हारी शव यात्रा में भी नही आए
जिन को तुमने अपना माना था...
उन्होंने हमारा उपहास किया तिरस्कार किया
मैंने क्षमाँ किया ...क्यूंकि तुम चाहते थे उन्हें .

बाबूजी ,
आज मै चाह कर भी अपना मार्ग नही बदल सकता
मेरे रक्त में क्यो दिया ऐसा धर्म
क्यो दिया मुझे ऐसा संस्कार
क्या तुम नही चाहते थे ॥
तुम्हारा पुत्र भी इस जीवन में समानित हो ?


सोच रहा हु क्या अपनी संतान को कहूँ वह सब
....जो तुम कहा करता थे मुझसे ?
या छोड़ दू उन्हें ...
इस जीवन संग्राम में अपनी दिशा खोजने के लिए ?

बाबूजी , आज आदर्श और सिधांत प्रासंगिक नही रहे
न ही प्रासंगिक रहे हम तुम

तुम्हारा

रवि

Experience of life

On the way to Dehradun...a Shiva Temple with unique message.

World where the popularity and power of any religious place is measured in terms of donation / collection, such places are rare

Ravi

Endless Thoughts

Another day of endless thoughts..! and Interim conclusions about life and its colors. Some anecdotes, couple of stories, few metaphors...all concluding towards one common theme...no point in being a victim of circumstances...I must act and decide now.

1. Either accept happily whatever one gets : Be fatalistic
2. Make efforts to change the situation into what I want and pursue it till its conclusion: Achievers approach
3. Leave the situation and search the perfect spectrum: Escapist Approach

Procrastination will never help in bringing clarity ...there will not be any day better than today...Must Act Now and make my choice..loud and clear.

1. The world will never be free of imperfection
2. Fairness word exists only in the dictionary
3. We realises the goodness of others, others also will not..realise
4. Not trying in bigger failure than trying and failing
5. Not having any time-bound plan is as good as no plan
6. Not to accept whatever comes on the way
7. Generally, a Source of discomfort is misalignment between self-image and others' perception of individuals' capabilities and intellect.
8. Good people are good for nothing.

Execution....make it happen

Quoting Robin Sharma, as it is..., as I want to retain this thoughts for ever with me.

"Ideation without execution is delusion. The greatest idea in the world is useless without the discipline to make it happen. If you can't create tangible results around your idea then it's pointless. Great organizations and individuals make things happen. They do what they
will say they will do. Very simply, they are meticulous about accountability.

Being accountable means that you are committed. That you will achieve the results you promised. Too many people avoid being accountable by blaming circumstances. (Blaming others or circumstances is simply excusing yourself.) So much so, that execution and accountability are a competitive advantage. The Rare Ones are those that get things done and end up defining the marketspace.

Here are some tips on increasing the level of accountability in your life and your organization:

Action Items
Record who will do what and by when in your meetings. Review these action steps at the end of the meeting and include them in the minutes. Then, at the following meeting, review progress on the Action Steps by individuals.

30 Minutes or it's Free
One way to make yourself more accountable is to create consequences. Domino's Pizza used to offer free pizza if the delivery person didn't make it to your house in 30 minutes. What would you hold yourself to in order to be impeccably accountable? Frame it in terms of what your customer wants to make it truly meaningful.
Tell People
Sharing your goals and commitments to action with others is a powerful way to keep yourself accountable. Whether it's your client, a mentor, a friend or a loved one they will help you focus on execution when you tell them what you plan to do.
Ask why
Before committing to something ask yourself why you are doing it. If it isn't something critical then you may want to say no. Saying no to the unimportant helps you focus on the few things that are.

Reward Execution
When you do execute take a moment to congratulate yourself. Acknowledge that you have made the journey from idea to result. You may also want to tell some others as well. If you are a manager, then be diligent about observing and complimenting people on achieving their accountabilities.

Open Secret

In last couple of years would have read many articles, books...on the stuff of leadership, getting things done, execution, emotional intelligence, project management, lean thinking, process re-engineering, strategy, performance management, sales promotions, customer service, etc. At the end of reading one feels enlightened, improves thinking, provides different perspectives and insight.

But somewhere I was still searching ideas which are SIMPLE & EASY to understand and follow and provide LONGTERM behavioral change which results in improved personality, which is more effective.

 Based on observations over the years, and discussion with Some which can be followed easily by anyone, serious in growing professionally.

1. Perform the part of a colleague's job while he is on long leave.
2. Represent your team in a group doing work you know little about. If you come from the operations side of the business, find ways to interact with sales, procurement, human resources, legal, technology.
3. Accept the role of " Man Friday": volunteer to deal with the most dissatisfied customers or most difficult suppliers, take over troubled projects, or supervise cost-cutting initiatives.
4. Join a project team that is breaking new ground in your organization, for example, one that is launching a new product or installing a new IT system.
5. Start something new outside work--a new volunteer program for your child's school, or join a new professional network in your social networking site
6. Stepping forward to manage work with tight deadlines, pressure from above, high visibility, and responsibility for critical decisions increases your decisiveness and your ability to work and learn under pressure.
7. Volunteer to manage high-profile customers or business partners. You'll learn to deal with accountabilities from multiple directions--from your own organization and from external sources.
8. Always take up assignments that require you to collaborate across functions and business units or to work with people over whom you have no authority--such as customers, vendors, partners, unions, and regulatory agencies
9. Seek roles of Shared leadership sets up additional challenges around roles, authority, and expectations, as well as gives you a chance to experiment with your ideas and reinforce your beliefs.
10. Accept the role of executive assistant to the chairman, director, president for few years, preferably early in the career- will help in developing a holistic understanding of the business as well as developing visibility and relationship in the industry and organization.
11. Never miss an opportunity to meet with your customers and channel partners formally and informally and understand their motivations and,
12. Travel outside your workplace, visit other branches, offices, cities, develop an understanding for different markets, cultures, rituals, etiquettes
13. Seek out projects, task forces, and onetime events and activities that you can participate in for a short period of time - example business exhibitions, roadshows, product launches, market survey, shooting of ad films, development of advertisements
14. Seek challenges outside the workplace. Look for ways to develop your leadership capacity in nonprofit, religious, social, and professional organizations.
15. Spend time with your team members, colleagues, superiors in informal sessions, weekend picnics, Booz sessions, family outings, all this will help in understanding, and relating with them more meaningfully.
16. Seek out challenges in new industries or take up a position
17. Lastly, while doing all these don't lose focus on doing what you are getting paid for.

Above is neither complete nor comprehensive list, one can include, exclude beliefs which he feels are right in order to get his recipe of success

I would like to end, this midnight blog by quoting Calvin Coolidge

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with
talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race"

Sorry, no shortcuts in Life,

Ravi Kingrani

Life Coach

While discussing typical day to day life issues with my friend who lives in US, i was suggested to hire an Coach for my self,for help me navigating the career and relationship.Same is very popular in western countries, where to get ahead in life and to have a peaceful life people do engage Life Coach or Professional coach by paying 10's of thousands of dollars.

In last decade Personally as well through organisation where i worked i have attended some seminars of motivational speakers or self development gurus who are pontificating their belief system in class rooms. Typically after closing lecture / presentation a young lady comes to the stage and begins speaking on her take of the world and how we can all achieve success.

Typically, she will introdue as a 'Life coach" or " professional Coach"..will highlight importance of teacher, coach, in acheving desired success personally and professionally. Immediately my mind yells, "What the hell is that? Life coach?" I silence my internal mechanism and continue to listen. She goes on for about 30 minutes spewing all the basic motivational blah blah.

I believe the art of motivation and the psychological benefits derived from feeling good about oneself are important. In a world bent on spitting out negativity through every media orifice, good thoughts and words are inspiration are a welcome antidote of modern day cynicism, competition, rat race.

What I can't stand or condone are fuzzy stories that have more to do with fantasy than reality. Again, don't get me wrong, I like a good story like everyone else. Our history and traditions were built on stories being told while catching up sleep with parents, since the dawn of civilization.

Back to the speaker... In those 30 minutes, at one course of an accomplished speaker.. I found out that speaker didn't have an good college degree..just some bachelors or masters from unknown university, she had failed marriage, flogging career in sales till few years earlier and she now feels her destiny is to help other people by sharing what she went through.

"What?"

So, what qualifies her to be a life coach? Well, the fact that she never finished education or she's been through disturbed marital life or family life... That makes as much sense as a divorcee giving you tips on how to have a happy marriage.

But here's the killer part; she was dead serious about helping people in the audience (who signed up for her Rs 20000 per year coaching program) get their life on track. There's the rub. Now let me be a considerate to her traumatic experience in life and in profession and assume that given her past experiences she can offer some valuable information or insight on life.

But question remain un answered can anyone really be your LIFE coach? What are the qualifications to be a LIFE coach? Does this mean this coach will be with me for life, until I die?

The absurdity of the label, "Life Coach" is obvious. If you believe in a higher power (i.e., God), then you might have a reason to want Him (or Her) as your life coach. But God doesn't charge you by the hour! He would most likely refer you to the "Good Book"; all the answers you need for success and prosperity are there for the picking.

I'm convinced that anyone who calls themselves a life coach has to be either delusional or has no concept of what the phrase implies. On the subject of self development and helping others, my beliefs are
You can't insure success, you can only guide people.

To guide them you have know their thought process, their life style, their motivations, their aspirations which are beyond words.

Before giving them first piece of advise, guide need to understand them, beyond what is communicated in words ..need to live with them ( metaphorically) day in and day out, know there various interactions in life, at their work place,with sprituality, with spouse, with kids, with neighbours, with friends

Is it humanly possible...?

I don't think so..It is impossible for anyone to become our Life Coach.

Just because someone has suffered or has gone through some hard times DOES NOT qualify them to give you advice. It only qualifies them to tell you how stupid they were and what lessons they've learned. I don't think any one should have to pay for this.

What is the exception? If a person has real world experience and can help you shortcut your path to success by providing tangible steps and information, along with How TO IMPLEMENT..

I still wouldn't call that person a life coach.

I would either call them a friend or a mentor...who shares your daily, day to day life, who knows you for pretty long period in life ( atleast 5 years), who has seen you in different phases of life, your challenges, happy and sad moments.

Merry Christmas

Wishing a Merry Christmas and Joyous Holiday season,

and also writing lyrics of my all time favourite song from Movie "Daddy"

''आइना मुझ से मेरी पहली सी सूरत मांगे

मेरे अपने मेरे होने की निशानी माँगे

में भटकता रहा दर्द के वीराने में

वक्त लिखता रहा चेहरे पर हर पल का हिसाब

मेरी शोहरत मेरी दीवानगी की नज़र हुई

पी गई माय की बोतल मेरे गीतों की किताब

आज लौटा हु तोह हसने की अदा भूल गया

यह शहर भुला मुझे, में भी उसे भूल गया

मेरे अपने मेरे होने की निशानी माँगे

आइना मुझ से मेरी पहली सी सूरत माँगे

मेरा फअन मुझे फ़िर बाज़ार में ले आया है

यह वोह जगह है जहाँ मेरो वफ़ा बिकते है

बाप बिकते हैं और लखते जिगर बिकते है

कोख बिकती है दिल बिकते हैं सर बिकते हैं

इस बदलती हुई दुनिया का खुदा कोई नहीं

सास्ते दामो पे यहाँ रोज़ खुदा बिकते हें

मेरे अपने मेरे अपने होने की निशानी माँगे

आइना मुझ से मेरी पहली से सूरत माँगे

हरी खरीदार को बाज़ार में बिकता पाया

हम क्या पायेंगे किसी ने यहाँ क्या पाया

मेरे एहसास मेरे फूल कहीं और चले

बोल पूजा मेरी बची कहीं और चले

और चले , और चले......."