I am not a hardcore religious, or spiritual person who follows daily rituals or does daily meditation or prayers , but at the same time i am not an atheist, i believe in God, his presence around every thing, every person.
I do visit temples, gurudwaras, majars, and I do have small temple with all the dieties at my home, once a while i do fasting and prayers....!
Since the age of 14 I have tried to find meanings to God & Life with the help of my mentor Da-Saheb, at Indore. I had choosen the option of worshiping God through prayers, rituals, praise Him through hymns and propitiate Him with offerings, sacrifice and gifts. All these has helped me a lot from the days of low confidence, and achieve something formidable in life.
Of late i have started accepting that Life’s definition of happiness and spirituality also keeps changing as we go along. It took me long to figure out that if it was to be a give and take relationship, wherein God gave me something only when I pleased Him, He couldn't really be God! How could God desire a conditional contract with human beings? And readied myself to face the repcurtions of any sort due to this change in belief.
Now my chosen way was easier to follow for me ... it was just to leave the things on its own, assuming god is there always, and he knows what is good from me, what is required to be done. I did the things which were right as per swadharma, I have decided to do duties honestly, fulfill responsibilities sincerely , honour obligations towards family, help needy people, giving back whatever is possible to the society as core foundation blocks of my life.
As per path chosen by me, I may not get closeness to god, i may not be ever able to understand, his nature, his creation, his laws ..But even if I am able to understand my self , and control my self and direct my actions with righteousness i will be able to achieve my life goal.
I seek God in everyday life as I go out to do my karma. For me, god is always inside me as well as always around me in the form of my parents,my kids, my family, my friends, my music, my writings, with who are real and they prevent me from falling in trap of my desires and materialistic ambitions and encourage me to reach to higher goals in life.
My interaction with god, which is rarely in temples or pilgrimage places ...but regularly in my car while driving back and forth between home and office on roads of Mumbai. or in lap of mother nature on endless roads or sea shores ..i feel that i always talk to god the very moment when i am alone.
For me god is formless, and nameless, i ask him any thing, everything and he responds to me instantly..in the same language i ask him.... he teaches me various things from being in control of my desires, controlling my thoughts, controlling anger, resting expectations from others, keeping control over anger, living a simple life.
People may interpret my discussion or prayer as nothing but a self talk of a mad person, who
questions himself and answer himself but thinks he is talking to god, be it...i am not bothered.
I am sure someday, I will meet God, not just feel the presence. But whatever and wherever, I hope God looks like ....my Maa.
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